Friday, August 19, 2011

Cheap Beer of the Month Club: Late Again...But Exceptionally Well-Researched!

This month's entry is a tribute to last weekend, which was spent drinking this beer with my family. (We are classy vacationers, we Heinekes.)


Gas station or grocery store?  Obviously, no one with even a shred of dignity would be seen walking out of a grocery store with this stuff.  If you are going to drink Keystone Light, you are going to drink Keystone Light that you picked up at a gas station.

Price:  Remember last month when I waxed poetic about 62 cents a can?  SIX-NINETY-NINE FOR A TWELVE PACK.  Depending on your sales tax, there is the possibility that one could hit the high 50-cent range per beer.  THIS is the sort of thing that makes America great.

Swill quality: The swill quality is "high," and by "high," I mean this shit can be pretty tough to drink if you have any kind of discerning palate whatsoever.  (Luckily for me, I don't.)

Packaging/label:  The crappy blue rip-off of the Coors Light logo gets a pass, but only because Keystone is made by Coors.

Shame factor: Oh, God.  It's up there.  The shame factor is WAY UP THERE. 

Overall:  It is physically impossible to get through a can of Keystone Light without, at some point, uttering the words:  "Keith Stone, you're so smooooooth."  For that reason alone, everyone on Earth should drink the hell out of this stuff.


  1. Hilarious! Love the grocery store comment-so true. If you had a sub-category for 'really cheap beer' Keystone Light would definitely qualify! I actually still have 2 cans of the Milwaukees Best PREMIUM left from the 12 pack I bought over a MONTH ago. I swear it feels like I've struggled through at least 20 of those... I think they multiply. Hope you got some rest and are feeling better today! Good race despite the illness--it means you are getting faster! SS

  2. YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED THE 12-PACK?! Man. I sucked those babies down. (Then again, you do like Natty Lite so... HA!)

    As for the race, thanks, and you did pretty damn well yourself! I think I might actually be back to full health in a day or two. I don't think there's any question the running (and probably the drinking) did me a world of good.

  3. I gave a responce but it wasn't entered?

  4. Nevermind, Long ago post. It made it to Seattle washington. My place was out of an 18 pack of PBR, so I thought I should try out this "new" Keystone Light, *WOW* A 18 pack for the same price as a 18 pack, but these are 16 ounces? It's either a good deal or a bad deal. Alc content so low. I would have been better off buying 211 and throwing up a few times. These are pretty boring to drink, but they are smooth, but I don't want to try this hard to drink alcohol. This is one of these moments I wish I bought Liqueur.