Monday, January 9, 2012

Miraculously, My Car Passed Inspection

16-year-old Me's license pic.  HAHAHAAAAA!
I'm not sure how that happened, but I'm not going to question it.  Dear old Penny Lane had to be inspected for the very first time in her entire life today, what with my tags needing renewal and my parents no longer occupying a Bartlett residence to act as my legal address, thus leading me to officially change my address.  As of today, my license matches my residence for the first time in nearly five and a half years:  I legally and unmistakably live in Memphis, Tennessee.

Have you noticed that this is the third entry in three days?  Yeah.  I'm supposed to be cracking down on my book.  This is what I'm doing with myself instead.  Blogging.

And also going through my computer and finding a surprising (EQUALS AWESOME) folder stuffed full of blog entries that I wrote, like, two or three years ago, but never published.  I thought now might be a good time to share one quote from each of these entries, without any context, purely because about one quote's worth is all these entries are worth.

THE WISDOM OF BECKY('s unpublished blog entries 
from two or three years ago)


"I just have this book, and I think it's good, and I think a lot of people would like it if they read it.  And now I find out that that's actually the part of it all that doesn't mean anything."

*****

"Remember that pets neither know nor care how much you pay to feed them, so it's rather useless to try to impress them."

*****

"Look, Facebook, you're not fucking Lady Gaga.  There is no functional reason for you to look completely different every time I see you. "

*****

"In high school, my friends had this endearingly annoying habit of choosing a future occupation for me.  Architect, textbook writer, doctor, lawyer...you name it, someone thought I should be it.  No two people ever chose the same job for me.  I knew even at that point that I had no interest in what was being recommended, but I was definitely fascinated by the fact that so many people thought they had the answer to what I should do with my life.  It's just not a conversation I could imagine having in reverse, and I wondered what it was about me that prompted so many to offer their advice."

*****

"Oh my God, 28. 

Nine months from now, I will have lived as long as he had when he died. 

Fuck.  I have done nothing with my life.

HEATH.  WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?  You've been gone for TWO YEARS and you're STILL DEPRESSING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY."

*****

"Tragically, Jake's mental facilities seem to be regressing even faster than his physical stature.  Watch below as he struggles to remove a stuffed octopus from his own head, exhibiting motor skills that child psychologists find reminiscent of those in kindergardeners."

*****

"I immediately flashed back to Kathryn standing in our Bellingrath dorm room sophomore year of college saying, 'I just don't get you sometimes.'  I don't remember what prompted her to say it.  I wasn’t offended.  I long ago stopped trying to predict my own reactions to things so I can only imagine how frustrating I must be to other people.

*****

"I once talked to a therapist who, upon finding out I give both sides of my brain relatively equal workouts, said to me, 'It must be so hard being you.  I'll bet you're misunderstood all the time.'  (I don't think it's any more or less hard to be me than it is to be anyone else.)"

*****

"I am a perpetual enigma to myself.  And the biggest mystery is why anyone pays attention to me."

 *****

"Wine in a box is cheaper and gets you just as drunk."

12 comments:

  1. Last comment is worth some money. ;)

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  2. I laughed out loud when I read that. :) When I started this blog, I had grand notions of writing a regular segment about saving money, but my first couple of attempts didn't go over too well. I should have stuck with it, though, because apparently I had all sorts of ideas stockpiled... :)

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  3. "I long ago stopped trying to predict my own reactions to things so I can only imagine how frustrating I must be to other people."

    Here we have another thing in quite common (my reactions can be extremely frustrating). Tho I'll never get, why, when I react like no one else prolly would, my "dears" don't learn from it and at least expect the same reaction from me for the same reason at another time. O.O

    Sasha

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  4. I loved them. Your teasing us with just one line from each blog!!

    ""Oh my God, 28.

    Nine months from now, I will have lived as long as he had when he died"

    this is super super depressing, please dont think like that!

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  5. p.s. the latest pics of Jake getting into the Audi are FUCKING HOT im not sure if its because he is beardless.. or because hes getting into an Audi... What id do to have that car ;) lol

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  6. That Heath quote is even worse now that I'm mere days from 30!!! (Must. Not. Compare. Myself.)

    On a happier note, I just so happened to see those pictures last night and, um, I totally concur. I watched the video Stephanie put up of him announcing on the Golden Globes and dammit if I didn't feel a tug of affection for him, with him looking kinda nervous but doing a good job and not having to be made fun of by Ricky Gervais. (I'm very possessive of making fun of Jake.) OH, JAKE. :)

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  7. I just posted on your Facebook, I had no idea he was even there (he obviously didn't do the red carpet??!!) but I was pleasantly surprised when I saw him walk on stage... I listened intently and didn't take in a word he said. Damn him for still being totally attractive and mesmerizing. Takes about 3 seconds and I'm back feeling for him what I did like I did 6 years ago... Damn

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  8. Hahaha! I feel your pain. :) Just finished the book and, er, wow. So many mixed emotions right now. It's hard to believe that even a year ago, with the new blog and with promoting the book and all, he was such an integral part of my daily life. And now he's just...not. No wonder I'm prone to occasional relapses. He worked himself into my life pretty damn deeply!!!

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  9. It's not any kind of mystery that people pay attention to you - one of the reasons is that you write hilarious blog posts. Another is that your a wonderful person.

    So there!

    :)

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  10. Also:

    Look, Facebook, you're not fucking Lady Gaga. There is no functional reason for you to look completely different every time I see you.

    Hahahahahaha! You, however, are a fucking genius!!

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  11. Thank you, Malin!! You're the sweetest. :) And I don't care how narcissistic it makes me sound...when I ran across that Lady Gaga quote, I *cracked up*. I have no memory of writing that, but I feel deep personal pride at having come up with that sentence. :D

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