Sunday, July 3, 2011

ACTUAL AARON CARTER NEWS: As Expected, Boy Wonder's Life Story Continues to Worsen

Aaron Carter, God's failed first attempt at making Justin Bieber, is back in the news this week, shedding new light on his already discomfort-inducing relationship with Michael Jackson.

In an interview with a shady Australian gossip rag, Aaron admitted that Michael, in addition to being the strangest person who ever lived, thought it was okay to give 15-year-old Aaron alcohol and cocaine and AARON WAS NOT OKAY WITH THIS, EVEN BACK THEN.

You know, I like to keep up with Aaron C because his unearned celebrity status somehow encompasses the excess and stupidity of our collective mindset at the turn of the millennium...but now I'm just creeped out.  And not just about the Michael Jackson stuff.  I'm creeped out because this is what Aaron Carter currently looks like:


  1. I LOVE that you described Australian magazine as "shady" haha...
    But what i love even more is

    "Aaron Carter, God's failed first attempt at making Justin Bieber"

    I dont even have anything to say about that other than Brilliance!!

    He is looking totally weird right now. To think he was a little heart throb...

  2. HA!! I felt such pride over that sentence, so I'm really glad you enjoyed it. :D

    I never would have known about the unreliability of Australian gossip mags without you! But regardless of the credibility of interview, that picture just makes me sad. :( What a strange life that would be, to have peaked when you were a little kid! At least The Biebs seems to have a better support network than poor Aaron...

  3. Because of my advanced age, I did not know who Aaron Carter is and was. So I googled him. If Tom Felton had not been available, I think Aaron Carter would have made a very credible Draco Malfoy ;-)

  4. Such a good call!!!!!!!! And thank God for sweet, sweet Tom, who appears to have slightly more responsible parents than Aaron ever did. :)

  5. I don't believe any of the Aaron stories. In my mind, he is still rockin' out at his house party. End of story. I won't accept this weird new Aaron Carter masquerading as that adorable tow-headed little sprite. <---evidence!

  6. Aw, that's my boy!! You're right. That Aaron Carter is the only Aaron Carter, always and 4-eva!!!