Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I Can't Believe the Situation Required Someone to Say That

Because it needs to be done, I'm reinstating the Quoteboard, effective immediately:

1.  "I somehow doubt that they're offering marijuana-laced cupcakes downstairs in exchange for rent checks."
- Me, to my boss, on the first of the month

2.  "There is nothing wrong with my menstrual cycle!"
- Me, to a Memphis police officer during Rhodes Homecoming

3.  "Did you hear someone filed a paternity suit against Justin Bieber?!"
- Abercrombie & Fitch Boy, when we passed on the elevator today

(Infinitely) more to follow...


  1. I wonder what the police officer said to you O.O"


  2. I took some liberties with that one. ;) He's actually a friend of mine! And he was one of several people that weekend to give me a "running intervention." He was telling me all the horrible things I was doing to my body by running (killing my knees, etc), and then he leaned in and said, "You know, you can run so much your period stops."

    It was at that point that I got completely exasperated and yelled,"There is nothing wrong with my menstrual cycle!"

    Sadly, this did not stop him from continuing to tell me how horrible running is...

  3. ahahaha I just pictured you in my head y e l l i n g at some that your menstruation is just fine ... O.O .......... can't. stop. laughing.


  4. Forget the fact that the Biebs spawned that little bastard child

    The real question is if the girl will be convicted as the little rapist she is...

    So I ask, is it worth being a registered sex offender to get bit of that gold young Maple Jesus is sitting on??

  5. BEEJ!! Your comment has simultaneously depressed me and also made my day...

    BECAUSE YES. WHAT THE HELL. I was ready to dismiss the whole thing, but when I read the full account, I could see it so clearly. And envisioning the Biebs in a bathroom growling, "I'm going to fuck the shit out of you," is not something anyone should ever do. Ever.

    That chick is obviously a fame whore looking for attention and deserves to spend the rest of her life living far away from playgrounds and elementary schools. Ugh. This is TOTALLY tainting the new Christmas album for me... :(