Friday, December 9, 2011

For the first time since July...

...I don't have to get up early tomorrow (!).  No long run!  No training!  I don't know what to do with myself!

I could probably find some trouble to get into tonight, but, to be entirely honest, it's been a rough seven days - starting with that marathon that nearly killed me and leading straight through last night, when I wound up the only girl amongst seven guys at the Slider Inn.  I'm struggling to explain, even to myself, how it is that a night that seemed enjoyable at the time has left me wanting to crawl off in a corner and lick my wounds; I feel a little damaged after being in the presence of that much testosterone.  "Vulnerable" is the word that I often use to describe the experience of walking into Breakaway alone, never knowing who's going to be there or how the people who show up are going to treat me (not to suggest that people are mean to me, but rather that I lack the reliability of close friendships). "Vulnerable" doesn't cover what I'm feeling today, though.  Today I feel worn down.

Months and months of energy was expended on things that didn't turn out the way I had hoped this week.  For that, and for all the details that I wish I could share but am too paranoid to publish, I'm missing Kara right now.  OH, the stories I would have told her...


  1. When I saw "for the first time since July" I thought maybe...just maybe a cheap beer of the month entry. but no

  2. Alas, no! Sorry to get your hopes up... :)