Saturday, January 7, 2012

ACTUAL AARON CARTER NEWS (plus a Quoteboard entry and a somewhat-related commentary on Ed Sullivan)

For the Quoteboard, here is an ACTUAL TEXT from my ACTUAL BROTHER:

"Did you see that Aaron Carter is on that new cooking show?  Also, is he gay?"

Why no, John, I had not seen that Aaron Carter was on that new cooking show because that would require me to not only be aware of what's on television these days, but to be aware of what cooking shows are on television these days, and that's about as likely as me being aware of what sports season it is.

But thanks to The Google, I have now seen what it was John was referring to and, um, yes, I think it's possible that Aaron Carter is gay.

(God, really, you don't have to watch this video.  When I think of the pain I inflicted on myself by sitting through this four-minute-twenty-five-second recap, I am physically unable to stop myself from twitching in a manner indicative of severe repulsion over what psychological torment must have been wrought on anyone who, for whatever reason [God help them], sat through this entire show.  Peace be with you, gentle souls!)

(But if you can stomach watching at least a little of it, then you can see why Aaron C's sexuality is in question.  You can also see why it is that I really don't watch television.)

(Literally, at about thirty seconds in, when one of the judges or whatever tells Aaron to stop dancing and then winks at him as if to say "for the love of Christ stop ruining what's left of your non-existent-to-begin-with career; really we're here to help you," I want to cry, such is my abject horror at what I'm witnessing.)

Um, so anyway, yeah.  Our first ACTUAL AARON CARTER NEWS of 2012 is not so much that he might be gay (would this shock any of us? I mean, really?), but that he's just an absolutely awful cook[ing show contestant].

And tragically, my friends, that sort of thing is what passes for entertainment in 21st century America.

Thinking of this, as I was cooking my own dinner tonight ("cooking" is such a lie here...I put three frozen waffles in my toaster oven), I put in a DVD of the Beatles first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show back in 1964.  The DVD has the entire episode, with all the other acts and even the original advertisements in tact.

The Beatles continue to astound me, as their timelessness defies all rationality.  They are as riveting today as they were nearly fifty years ago.

The rest of the entertainment Ed had that night?  Made me think that as bad as I thought Aaron Carter on a cooking show actually really was that bad, and what used to pass as entertainment on television was equally terrible, just in a different way.

Even when there were only three channels, most of what was out there was just crap...


  1. Okay, I had to stop the video at 2:35 because I just could not watch any more!!! Thank you for the update, and thank you for reminding me that I am not missing out on ANYTHING by not having cable : )

  2. It is SO PAINFUL TO WATCH. And no. You're not missing anything! (Nor am I, apparently, what with having cable and never watching it.) Poor, poor Aaron Carter. And poor America...still eating up Hollywood's attempts to keep him relevant...

  3. apparently Aaron Carter is still performing shows these days. i know, i was shocked too! whats even sadder is that he is performing at MY FAVORITE BAR here in columbus, ohio. on MY BIRTHDAY!!! :( i almost think it would be hilarious to get drunk and shell out the $20 to watch him. almost.

    1. NO WAY!!! That would be the most amazing birthday ever... I know I can't tell you what to do but...if you happened to go, you HAVE to tell me all about it!! (I would see Aaron Carter in a heartbeat, regardless of how sad/pathetic that made both me and Aaron Carter.)

    2. Hahaha! Well, I am considering going if only just to see what kind of a turn out this kid? man? (guy that looks like Macauley Culkin's retarded cousin) gets. The venue he is "performing" at is technically a bar/dance club so it's not HUGE but it's not tiny. I don't even know any songs by Aaron Carter. Honestly, I think I'd rather go to a Hanson concert. At least I would know one song. MMMMMMMMMMMMBOP!

    3. Really, I only know the one Aaron Carter song ("Aaron's Party"), but then again, one is probably enough. :D I can't imagine him getting a huge turnout, but I could totally be wrong!! Funny you should mention Hanson because they played at a local fair here a year or two ago (!). I didn't go...but I knew a few people who were hardcore fans back in the day who were super-excited to see that they were still touring... :)