Tuesday, January 8, 2013

All Things Must Pass

Throughout my teens and twenties it was him, only him.

I thought it was forever.  Why wouldn’t it be?  He was always there for me.  The cute one.  Eager to please.  Quick with a grin.  Secretly avant-garde (not over-the-top, mind you, but just enough to be interesting should you want to know…and of course I wanted to know).

My loyalty was such that I never contemplated the possibility that the way I felt would change.  Since age 11, he had been mine.  Mine, mine, mine...or at least as much as he could be. (Which was more than you might think.  Until you choose one and really dedicate yourself, it’s hard to know how much one of them can give you.)

We were a good ten years in when I had my first stray thought.  I pushed it aside; we all have stray thoughts from time to time, don’t we?  Uncertainty is completely natural, healthy even (I was in college, after all). It was a solo album from one of the others that made me waver and perhaps it was the shock of wavering as much as anything else that caused me to dig my heels in.  I knew where I stood – in this for the long haul.  

And so we continued as we had, doggedly plowing ahead…  

Years passed.  I got older.  One version of him did, too.

The other version didn't.

There wasn't any one single turning point.  There wasn't a moment when I went from devotion to full-on doubt.  It was gradual, the way life is, and in the end, what I was looking for had changed.  Less and less was he answering the questions I was asking.

It was one of the other three who told me it was okay to let go.  The same one whose album had reached through to me all those years ago.  I started to see things that I hadn't noticed before.  For the first time in ages, there was wonderful, beautiful new life in an worn-out story...

And I knew.

It’s a big step for me, a huge change.  One made after much soul-searching and contemplation.  It's amicable, completely, and I will always love him.  Paul McCartney will always be a part of my life, and after twenty happy years, he has a part of me that I will never be able to give to anyone else.   

But it's time.  To move forward.  To see where this is going.  I'm ready.  So here it is.  I'm announcing it to you, right here, right now, for the first time in writing (bear with me; it's still all so new!):

George Harrison is my favorite Beatle.


  1. I'm stunned. And shocked. I'm shocked and stunned.

    1. Very stunned...


      I called my parents last night to let them know. I wanted to tell them personally before I announced it publicly. They told me they approved and agreed that this was the right decision for me at this stage of my life. My greatest hope now is that the transition goes as smoothly as possible...

  2. *mouth-hanging-open-in-front-of-computer*

    I remember how very, very sad I was for you when he died. Since I wasn't a huge fan, I was a little sad, but I was much more sad for you.

    Hope this new found allegiance works well for you : )

    - Meg

    1. Thanks, Meg. :) I remember waking up that morning and hearing you and Kathryn talking outside in the hall in Bellingrath. I couldn't hear any of the words you were saying, but somehow I immediately knew that George had died. I also remember the big Beatles poster I hung out in the hall fell down that night...

      On a much less serious note, I've decided this means another trip to Liverpool is order (obviously) because the past two times I've been, I've come home with mostly Paul stuff. Time to ring in the new era! :D

  3. Damn, does that mean I have to share George with you now? No matter, I'll go cry on one of my other idols.

    1. Haha, George and I are very close, it's true, but I suppose any friend of George's would be a friend of mine too, so... :)

    2. ...idols' shoulders.

      Geez, I must have really lost myself in fandom this afternoon.

      Hmmm, wondering why George didn't mention you.