Friday, August 22, 2014

A six pack and caramel corn is a valid dinner, right?

Sometimes you have good days, and then sometimes you have days that are otherwise good except for one thing and that one thing makes you think all other things are bad. Like this morning, when I lost my cubicle – the one thing in the beehive anarchy of my work environment that’s mine – and was shunted into the “contractor room,” which isn’t really a room so much as a windowless closet with eight people crammed into it.

I may have just lost my will to live.  (Except NOT REALLY, PEOPLE.  #robinwilliams #toosoon)

Losing my cubicle, for bureaucratic reasons that were not random but still don't make sense in terms of human logic, made me think about Katy Perry at that moment in Part of Me where she’s so drained she can’t do anything but lie on her back and cry.  But still she pulls it together and does her concert...

Yet all Katy Perry had to deal with was the failure of her marriage and the prospect of disappointing thousands of fans. I don’t know if even Katy Perry could have sat up and soldiered on if she’d been told she had to spend forty hours a week in the contractor room (#youshouldseeit).

Being moved into the contractor room made me feel like listening to Nickelback, and even as I was thinking it, I knew it wasn't a good idea.  Not because it's Nickelback (#reasonenough), but because I knew I'd wind up writing about it and that makes the second time I've publicly mentioned that I (sometimes) listen to Nickelback.  The truth is that I haven't listened to Nickelback at all since the last time I mentioned them, but how you would you know that?  All you know is that I've now gone and talked about them twice.  Like I'm some kind of Nickelback fan or something.  #imnot #weallstandtogether

HASHTAG-UGH.  I called my parents to complain (#cry) and to be all like, I don't even know if I should go to Breakaway tomorrow at 6:00 a.m. and run five miles for half marathon training.  And my parents said fuck that shit (#notinthosewords) and to do whatever the fuck I felt like (#almostinthosewords) and to drink beer (#exactlyinthosewords), and THAT, my friends, is the incredibly true story of how my life moved backwards today. 

hashtag-blue-moon-harvest-pumpkin-ale  hashtag-orville-redenbacher

The end.


  1. oyyy... I hear you - sending a six pack thru the cable ;) and looking for some frozen strawberry margherita for 5 gallons or such

    Annie S

  2. For real we need a phone date! I came to read your blog to find out what is going on in your life : ) Of course I'm out of town this weekend, but we should talk soon!

    - Meg

    1. We need a phone date just to talk about how you're now "unknown" to Blogger! :) But yes, I know I definitely owe you a call. And I'm also (obviously) extremely looking forward to October, when such conversations can be had in person. :) Enjoy your weekend!!