I also mentioned that I had started a second Complete Idiot project around the same time: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Social Media Etiquette. Though my Millennial guide was interesting enough that I later wished that I had finished it simply so that I, personally, could read it, the social media guide did not withstand the test of time quite so well. Thus I didn't share anything from it.
Until now.
The words below were written less than four years ago, but their entertainment value comes almost exclusively from their outrageous dated-ness (starting with the fact that it was called "social networking" back then). Well, that, and my resolute insistence on dictating who you should and should not friend on Facebook. If there's anything to be said about Becky Heineke circa 2011, it's that she was looking for a little control in her life. And here we are able to see how she wanted to exert that control over you and your stupid "virtual alcohol."
Enjoy!
Part I:
Welcome to the World of Social Networking
Chapter 1:
What is Social Networking
The term “social networking”
is thrown around a lot in these modern times we live in. Friending, poking, following, and
connecting are only a few of the words that have had their meanings expanded in
recent years.
What does it all mean?
It means that when it
comes to the way we interact with people, things are changing. And with that change comes a whole new
set of rules and expectations on how to correspond.
Creating a Profile
Name and Profile Picture
Though this may seem like a no-brainer, different sites have different
expectations. On most any site,
it’s fine to use your real name.
On Facebook, everyone is expected to use their real name. On MySpace and Bebo, real names are
slowly being phased in after years of users traditionally sticking to
screennames.
Creating a Profile
Name and Profile Picture
Presenting Yourself Online
 |
| Congratulations, you are online! |
Online, the initial interaction
is always passive. A profile looks
the same to every person who views it (notwithstanding differences that come
about because of privacy settings...but that’s another matter entirely).
Let’s say that after
reading this book, you’re interested in learning more about me (I’m feeling
narcissistic in choosing my examples today). MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, take your pick. You look me up. You find my profile and you see a
carefully crafted image of me as an individual. You see the same profile picture that everyone else sees and
you see the same personal facts and interests, too.
Every piece of information
at your disposal has been hand-chosen by me. I decided which picture I wanted, I decided how many of my
interests to share, I even decided whether or not to divulge if I’m married or
single, how old I am, what my occupation is, and any host of other private
details, many of which would be far too private to ask me about if we happened
to meet as strangers on the street.
(MySpace, for instance, famously has an option to disclose your annual
income.)
Social networking sites
create the illusion of active interaction by allowing us the option to
communicate with each other whether privately (in e-mail-like private messages or
instant messaging, sometimes called “chatting”) or publicly (like on our
walls).
But the major difference
between online communication and the real world variety is that we have the
option to choose. Maybe you looked at one of my profiles
and decided that was all you needed to know about me. I effectively introduced myself to you without ever being
aware of it, and I never will know anything about you. I won’t even know that you exist...
Virtual Gifts: They Don’t Count Like the Real Thing!
What is a "virtual gift," you may ask? It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s not an actual balloon with “Happy Birthday!” written across it; it’s a tiny graphical representation of one.
What is a "virtual gift," you may ask? It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s not an actual balloon with “Happy Birthday!” written across it; it’s a tiny graphical representation of one.
 |
| Actual value of fake Coors Light shown above. |
Lest you come off as a
cheapskate or antisocial for not coming through with the real thing, virtual
gifts are best given in moderation.
(Or avoided altogether.)
Friend Requests
More and more people are joining Facebook, and the variety of users is endless. Just looking at the aspect of friend requests, the
differences between people is staggering.
There are the people who friend everyone they’ve ever met, those who
friend only people they’re actually friends with, and some who don’t friend
anyone at all, but instead wait for other people to friend them.
What type of Facebook
friend-er you are isn’t important for our purposes, but it is helpful to think
of people in real-world terms when it comes to friend requests. Did that creepy guy you met last night
at a bar send you a request? It’s
okay to deny him. (You would in
real life!)
Friending People You Don’t Know
In general, friending
should be limited to people you know.
Period. It would give you
pause if a stranger came up to you on the street and asked to see pictures
of you from last weekend, right?
It’s just as unsettling online.
Remember that you’re giving your Facebook friends access to enormous amounts
of personal information, and, likewise, you’re asking for access to that
information in return when you send a friend request.
That’s a lot (too much) to
ask of someone you don’t know.
Friending People You Sort Of Know
Never assume that someone
you’ve had minimal contact with knows why you’re friending them. Facebook allows you to send a personal
message with a friend request, and it also gives you the opportunity to send a
message to someone without sending a
friend request.
Your author, who, in a
previous life, was a popular blogger, often got requests from readers who made
no effort to introduce themselves.
It was frustrating; I didn’t want to offend those who enjoyed what I
wrote, but I also didn’t want to open up my private life to people who had made
no effort to reach out to me on a personal level.
I’ve also gotten requests
from people I not only don’t know, but can’t figure out why they want to be
friends. Unless you’re positive
that you’re sending a request to someone who knows who you are, always include
a message of some sort with your request.
And when in doubt, assume
the worst and explain who you are.
You and I both know you’re fascinating and memorable, but the person
you’re trying to friend may not.
[CHART – When to Send a
Request and When to Just Message]
Rule of Thumb: Sending a friend request is not the
same thing as introducing yourself.
Introducing yourself is the same as introducing yourself. Remember, when you send a friend
request, the person you send it to doesn’t have access to your full profile,
nor should you expect he or she to spend the time trying to figure out who you
are.
Are You Being Obsessive?*
Remember that your actions
on Facebook are visible to everyone in your network of friends. Every action you make, from commenting
on a picture or leaving a message on someone’s wall to hitting the “Like”
button on Nick Lachey's fan page, will be reported on your wall...
(*Note: You may not be obsessive, but I sure was to think all this through.)
Other topics slated for discussion but never expanded upon include:
- The internet is permanent! Think before you create.
- Responding too quickly and what it says about you.
- Creepy People: Low-Key is Key When Getting Rid of Them
(*Note: You may not be obsessive, but I sure was to think all this through.)
Other topics slated for discussion but never expanded upon include:
- The internet is permanent! Think before you create.
- Responding too quickly and what it says about you.
- Creepy People: Low-Key is Key When Getting Rid of Them
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