Tragedy in the cosmetics aisle

It has been a sad, sad week for your author, gentle readers. And it is only Tuesday.

That is because this is the week I realized Maybelline has discontinued its Great Lash Washable Mascara in Royal Blue. This is even worse than that time in college when they discontinued Full 'n Soft Mascara in Navy Blue. (Volum' Express The Falsies series, the crowning glory of Maybelline's mascara oeuvre, had not yet been invented, and Full 'n Soft was my go-to line at the time. That there was a blue - and not only a blue, but a glorious deep blue that didn't require any black to offset it - within this line was, in hindsight, almost too good to be true.)

I do not buy blue mascara often, my friends, no. It is not like black mascara, which I run through the way a nicotine addict burns through cigarettes. Blue is an accent, one I use sparingly, and usually in conjunction with with a slightly different set of gray eye shadows than I usually wear (the viewer does not notice the change, but oh, how I do). Sometimes the goal is for the blue to be seen. Other times it's for the blue to be undetectable to the casual passerby, serving merely as an aid to the illusion that my eyes are particularly brown that day...

Oh, ye who do not know the power of blue!

For days now I have run all over tarnation attempting to replace my long dead tube, but it was only this evening that I finally thought, hey, maybe I should check the internet to see if they still make this stuff.

They do not.

In conclusion and in condolences, an era has ended - an era of convenient, grocery-store access to cheap, unnaturally-colored eye makeup products that I use only intermittently (but loyally!) as part of my daily routine. Woe is me.

And to eBay I go...