Saturday, April 5, 2014

Well, That Was Sobering (Becky Finds a Podcast Where Her Name Came Up)

In July of last year, for pretty specific reasons, I wrote a blog entry called "A Word to the Pick-Up Artists."  It's not the greatest thing I've ever written, but it was cathartic to write.

That entry apparently became part of a podcast discussion, which can be found here; I stumbled across it yesterday while checking for links back to this blog.  (I come up around the 12-minute mark.)  Hearing my (borderline out-of-context) words read back to me in an unfamiliar voice, and then discussed by two complete strangers, was surprisingly disconcerting. 

The conversation veered into areas that I didn't bring up in the entry itself: a pervasive unrealistic view of love and the consequences of women being "too" independent.  Though at one point I am reminded by one of the hosts that it is not me, personally, he is criticizing, it definitely felt like what I had written prompted these particular topics to come up. 

I wrote the entry because at the time I thought it was important to assert my independence as a human being.  And yet what I actually wound up conveying turned me in a token voice for the most clichéd of all views of the female perspective:  the naive, sad girl who's moping that her prince hasn't shown up yet. 

Or did it turn me into the cliché?  The show was done point-counterpoint style, so my views were also defended.  But I had this weirdly visceral reaction to hearing some random dude give me a verbal eye roll.

So either I just allowed myself to be manipulated (via the podcast discussion) by the very game that I was writing off to begin with...

...or deep down I really am a naive, sad girl.

I'm not sure I like either of those options.

(So I'll offer myself a third, which is that my main argument in the entry, not visible in the quote that was used, would have been an even more interesting topic for me to hear feedback on.  "Pick-up artistry" is sold as a way to "fool" women into sleeping with men...yet it's women who actually set the rules for being fooled in the first place.  In other word, my theory was that the very men who claim the most success at seduction are, in fact, the ones who are themselves being manipulated by the superficiality of the surface game.  Where does the power really lie?  DEEP THOUGHTS, MAN.)

Pic from here.