Things I Shouldn't Admit in Public

Sometimes...when (for whatever reason) I need to "defrag"...

...I listen to rap music very loud and rap along while playing various solitaire games online.

Weird!  I know!  But I find it calming.  I started doing this in college, when I would listen with headphones and silently mouth along so as not to alert my neighbors (and roommate[s]) to my extreme strangeness...

Two nights ago it was Eminem and spider solitaire.  After an hour of that, I was a new woman.

And I should also note that when I do shit like that, I have a lot of thoughts about how much I appreciate being born in the time period I was and not, say, into the time period of cavemen.  And then I start thinking about how cavemen likely had simultaneously much harder and much more satisfying lives on account of being so intricately tied to their survival on a day-to-day basis, and how much of the modern world (like, oh I don't know, online solitaire and rap music) has sprung not from any real need for the item at hand but because humanity requires more and more distractions the further and further we get from our primal state, and it is likely that very lack of connection to our existence that leads to our desire to remove ourselves from the reality of the futility of life itself.

And that explains probably all one needs to know about why I find it necessary to defrag in the first place.

That's all.